i have a new momma now

its been a hectic two weeks. momma quit her job thing. daddy left momma (for good this time, i think). 5 big dudes took all our stuff and put it on a truck. momma shoved all us pets in cages for 12 whole hours. we flew on an airplane, in the crappiest, loudest seats EVER to dallas (i'm still a texas girl). i recently heard of something called 'first class' on the airplane where nice ladies give you warm food and blankets and comfy places to sleep with people who would probably love to pet me. momma never told us about first class before. i'm never getting on an airplane again unless i'm in the class of first.

after we got to texas, some different dudes brought all our stuff back and we got new beds and a new yard to poop in. lindy immediately chewed up the cats new bed cause cuda rubbed her butt on the bed that was clearly mine and lindy's. momma also took me and lindy to some new woods where we found a dead raccoon, a whole, uneaten turkey leg and a 17 day old slice of pizza. momma took the turkey leg from lindy beforeshe could eat it, but i swallowed the pizza whole before momma could smack me.

sunday a whole bunch of people came over for a slumber party, then momma packed her bags and left the next day. we have a new momma now and her name is cassie. we love cassie cause she doesn't know all the rules. lindy and i told her that we usually have a big stack of waffles and bacon for breakfast, pizza for lunch, cheeseburgers for dinner and chocolate cake for dessert. cassie seems a little suspicious that we might be lying, so it may take some time to bend her to our will. but she is slowly coming around. i'm getting really good at the "i'm starving and might need a waffle" look.

breakfast is the best

a great way to start the day

waffles are pure joy

i have to go now; its late and i'm missing my much needed beauty sleep.

love and flowers,

daisy

momma, there's mouse parts on the floor

newman killed a mouse last night and left the lower half (and an arm) on the rug. lindy and i want to know where the rest of it is. did newman eat it? does it taste like chicken? maybe mouse brains are a delicacy in other countries.

things are weird here at home. momma doesn't have that work thing anymore, so she's home all day, which is good, except that she doesn't entertain us much. we don't ask for much - although some dancing would be nice and maybe a few more snacks in between. we have been going for very long walks around the lakes. there are ducks there, but momma won't let us chase them. we've been playing a lot with mr. higgins and roxy and skeelo. mr. higgins is my cousin, twice-removed.

momma says we're going on an airplane again. i don't wanna go. the airplane scares me. last time, i thought we were being captured by aliens. turns out, human people get on airplanes all the time, but they never have to ride in the bottom with the bags. i'd like a seat in first class please. i hear there's cheese there and blankets. i don't ask for much - cheese in a blanket would be sufficient.

i'm gonna go to bed now. its kinda late and i'm full and sleepy.

love and flowers,

daisy

lunch?

i just found out yesterday that there is this OTHER meal called LUNCH that no one has ever told me about. for the entire 11 years of my life, there's been something called LUNCH that i've never gotten to experience. i need to make up for lost time. momma is in some serious trouble.

ode to lunch
lunch, where have you been?
a mid-day snack would be nice
i'm wasting away

daddy left us again the other day with a whole lot of bags. i think he's gonna be gone for a long time. he was crying when he said good bye (to us; not momma). not sure why he is so sad. we'll be here when he gets back. since he's been gone though, momma has been really nice. we had fried eggs for dinner one night (eggs make smelly farts though). then we had hamburgers the next day. today we had a really long walk through critter canyon then around the lake where all the ducks are. lindy wants to jump in the lake so bad, but momma won't let her. i want absolutely nothing to do with that lake. in case you don't know, a lake is just a huge, huge, huge, puddle of water. swimming is not my thing; it gives me that wet dog smell.

i have a confession to make -- i actually don't know how to type. well, i could type, but my paws don't work that way. so for the last two years in writing this blog, i've actually had to tell momma what to type -- yes, i CAN talk and read, i just can't type. momma said she'd let me type this once so you can see what happens when i do:

opstpoigrsfoijdfau098ye0[afdsnjfh0u98375h[feao[jias987TV1532Y5LVKDSN986DVFEWO9PI26K5;JW
LASLKJDSGPOUEOITJ3O;[PGOSUAOSDJjdspoiudsojpoeto[yt;iousa9u;poi6jespo9dsjuoejoieq5o9e

in case you can't read that, it says:

"i'm pooped from our long walk and could use a sausage omelette and a pancake."

i DO kind of like commanding momma what to write and having her do it; its like i'm the boss and she has to do what i say. "momma, you may now refer to me as 'miss daisy, the queen'."

we had to go to the doctor the other day too. he felt me in places he really shouldn't have. he told momma that i have a little fat pocket on my left side. that was not a very nice thing to say about a woman in her 70's. i tried to bite him, but daddy held me back.

momma says i'm not the boss of her anymore today, so i have to go. its time for a nap anyway.

love and love and love,

daisy daffodil

ode to chocolate chip goodness

dad hoards the cookies

begging is our best talent

too cute to resist

ah, sunday

i love sundays. its when lindy and i play the 'follow mom around the house' game. here's how it works: we follow momma from room to room for a couple of hours - bathroom, bedroom, kitchen, living room, kitchen, bathroom - round and round until she screams. then we run outside laughing. then just when she thinks its over, we start all over again. it is my favorite game next to 'treat patrol'.

last night momma and i cooked again. this time, i think we have the perfect dish - "momma's deep-fried pig sticks". here's how you do it:

momma's deep-fried pig sticks

1 pound of pig sticks (bacon) cooked until its still wiggly

3/4 cup corn starch (don't use corn meal; that's totally different corn stuff)

1/4 cup flour

1 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp salt

1/4 tsp pepper

1/2 cup water

1 chicken baby (egg) slightly beaten

A WHOLE LOT of shortening (we used crisco)

so, here's what you do - like i said above, cook the bacon in a skillet on low until its wiggly. while you're cooking the bacon, melt the crisco in an iron skillet or deep fryer. we used an iron skillet and had about 2-3 inches of oil after the crisco melted. while the bacon is cooking and the crisco is melting, in a medium bowl mix the corn

starch, flour, baking powder, salt, pepper, water and egg together to make the batter. after the bacon is done cooking and the oil is hot, dip the cooked bacon into the batter, then place in the hot oil. cook for about 3-5 minutes or until the pig sticks are a nice golden color (kind of like the color of me :-)).

voila! you have "momma's deep-fried pig sticks" (where i'm actually the momma and not my momma).

newman lost his 4th collar the other day and so grandma (cuda) smacked him. he has a cut on his nose. for a grandma, cuda can be kind of a snot.

momma is going to teach me to drive this week. stay tuned for updates on that terrific amount of fun.

love and well, bacon, cause there's nothing better than bacon, unless its deep-fried,

daisy daffodil

sunday night

momma says newman is a pain in the rear end (but she uses another word instead of "rear end"; i'd say the word, but i'm not allowed to swear and i wouldn't swear even if someone paid me $100 dollars). BUT, newman is kind of a pain in a LOT of areas. when i'm trying to sleep, he rubs his lower parts in my face and i don't like it much. he can see i'm trying to sleep; i don't know why he can't figure this out. and he cries like like a weiner. its eerie and strange like he's lost or something, but he's only in the hallway, so we can't figure out what his deal is.

so the other night, newman comes in the house through the dog door to the garage and he's crying as usual, but its kind of not his usual whine. it sounds like "meeb-loueue-wowwww" like he has marbles in his mouth or something. but it turns out its not marbles. its a dead baby mouse. so lindy rolled over from her nap and said "newman! don't talk with your mouth full!!" then momma heard him making that ridiculous noise and she came storming out of the bedroom and told him to "GET OUT OF THE HOUSE, RIGHT NOWWWWW!" and he did. and promptly dropped the dead mouse in the hall and ran.

the end.

Hi Koo!

home all day is dad
eyes glued to the computer
a walk would be nice

i'm a weiner

i like halloween cause i get whoppers and tootsie rolls. but i don't really like to play dress up.

this year momma put me in a hot dog suit and dressed lindy up like a bumble bee. we look incredibly stupid. even after dressing up like fools, we didn't get to go beg at the neighbor's houses for candy. i thought that was the meaning of halloween.

can't we just have the candy (or maybe a pizza) without having to dress like food or insects? momma and daddy eat piles of candy every night with just their regular clothes on.

momma says lindy and i were put on this earth to entertain her. if that's true, then as an entertainer, i'm gonna need some more money.

i have another poem (yep; i'm a regular robert frost).

october is my favorite month
because its when i came to be
and now everyone can pet me.

its colder outside
and that makes me frisky
but not enough
to wrap myself
in a fake hot dog suit.

happy halloween!!

love and tubular pork products you can eat,

daisy

i got "cake belly"

daddy remembered my birthday and brought me a pumpkin cake (suck it momma). so we had vanilla cake and ice cream for dessert. and momma and daddy sang happy birthday to me (they were kind of out of tune though; momma especially should NOT sing). i don't understand the whole singing and candle thing either. just give me the cake. i've written a new dog birthday poem:

give us this day, our daily cake

vanilla or chocolate, it doesn't matter

just feed it to me now

all of it

not just a weinie little piece

and forget the candles

i don't know how

to blow

them out

anyway

not bad for a blonde, huh. i have yet to receive my present though. momma says she has a surprise for me this weekend. i hope the surprise doesn't involve oatmeal shampoo and a visit to the shower of death. yes, i do know what B-A-T-H spells.

but i'm happy now. cake is all i really wanted and recognition that its my special day, and a walk, and to smell some pee and some love from my family.

love and sugar comas,

daisy d. the birthday dog

today is 10/27

and its a special day cause its my BIRTHDAY!!!! but neither momma or daddy or that lame offspring of mine has said anything. all i wanted was a pile of waffles for breakfast, a nice walk and a belly rub, but none of my loving family members has said anything.

daisy is a sad birthday dog.

uncle leo

uncle leo got very sick with something called 'fip'. daddy put him in the cage yesterday morning to go to the doctor and leo never came back (i'm never going back to that doctor). daddy said the doctor 'put leo to sleep' so he wouldn't hurt anymore. i wanna know when leo is gonna wake up again. cause the doctor made leo not hurt anymore, all of the rest of us are hurting.

we miss you uncle leo.

i need a hug,

daisy

r.i.p. little loud man

its almost my birthday

yep; in just 20 days, i'll be 77. pretty hot for an old lady, huh?

uncle leo is traumatized. he tried to tell us what happened to him while he was lost, but when he gets to the good part, he chokes up and cries. we don't know what happened, but we're thinking he was charged by an army of rats and held hostage and beaten or something. i feel bad for him, but its karma baby. he has not been a nice cat and now its all coming back to him. do unto others and all that other hooey. you know? that's why i'm nice to everyone, even people i just met. i like people and dogs and cats and bunnies and all stuff. leo needs to learn to love his neighbor.

daddy's not home tonight. he's so undependable. we know momma will take us out when she says. daddy is full of empty promises. daddy can bite me.

we had carnitas for dinner again with a crunchy bone on top. mmm, yum. how do you say daisy in spanish? its margarita. i kind of like that. i know momma likes it.

gotta run; i'm working on my next recipe.

love and baking,

daisy

everything is better with bacon

especially my new cheesy oinker cookies. i made cheddar cheese cookies a couple of weeks ago, and they were good (at least the ones i got to taste - momma ate most of them). but they needed a little more daisy love. so today i tweaked the recipe a little and added bacon. these cookies are the best; i might enter them in the texas state fair next year. you guys can start calling me the 'canine chef' or 'b*tch in the kitchen'. here's the fabulous recipe:

daisy's cheesy oinker cookies
1 cup plus just a tiny bit more flour
2 cups plus just a little more cheddar cheese
1/2 cup plus just a little more melted butter
12 slices 11 slices (i had to make sure it was fried to perfection) of cooked bacon, crumbled

mix all the good stuff together with your paws (don't worry, mine are clean. momma gave me a bath today), then roll into teaspoon sized balls. place on an ungreased cookie sheet and put in the fridge for 1 hour. then bake at 400 degrees for 15-20 minutes. try not to eat them all at once. big thanks to carey who encouraged me to strive for greatness and try my paws at cooking.

my feelings are kind of hurt cause daddy has all kinds of cute nicknames for lindy - 'cheesiness', 'stinky cheese', 'chunky cheese' (cause she's sort of a fatty now) and 'the little one'. daddy only ever calls me "the big one". i resent that - i'm not big; i'm big-boned. its almost my birthday though, so i'm not too sad. in case you've forgotten, its the 27th. yes, i'm a scorpio - i have extraordinary emotional depth and sensitivity. i do. really.

ok; gotta run. all this cooking has made me tired and HUNGRY!

love and tasty pig meat.

daisy

bunny games

the bunnies have started playing a new game with lindy and i - hide and seek. they're really good too. they usually hide behind our butts when we're not looking. then when we turnaround cause we feel their hot breath on our nether regions, they run off. today lindy and i are gonna practice our hide 'n seek skills so we catch 'em the next time they're sneaking up behind us.

lindy and i had a peeing contest today too. she peed in one spot, then i peed in the same place. then she peed again and so did i. that was fun for a while, but then i ran out of pee. lindy accidentally peed on momma's shoe too. momma was not thrilled with that whole scene.

today's thursday - i'm getting excited cause its almost the weekend and on friday, daddy stays home with us; he ignores us all day, but at least we're not alone and sad. the maid, letty, was here today too. we like her, but she doesn't have a lot of time to pet us. we think she has an unhealthy fondness of the vacuum cleaner too.

we finally found uncle leo yesterday. he had been missing for a couple of days and we figured he'd been eaten by the coyotes. our neighbor jim said the coyotes will come into the back yard and steal small animals. but leo makes it easy. he is his own snack-delivery service cause he prances around where the mean coyotes live; and he announces himself. he's such a daredevil.

gotta run; time for a snooze.

love daisy

new yummy goodness - cookies made with cheese!!!!

me and momma baked some cookies the other day -- CHEESE cookies (my favorite next to oreos). my new cute friend carey said that's what we should bake. carey is a dallas girl - dallas is my very favorite city. there's a bar-cat named "bacon" (he actually lives in a bar in dallas) who is making a cookbook to sponsor homeless pets and i want to make sure i have the best dish! if bacon wasn't a cat, i'd eat him. i LOVE bacon too (the cat and the meat product). so anyway, we baked cookies and they were super easy, but i think they need more cheese. i need to taste a few more just to make sure, but momma has eaten most of them herself.

when momma and daddy were gone this weekend, my new favorite people, jalyn and jennifer came to stay with us - see the pic? that's us dragging jalyn down the street. they're super pet sitters cause they patted our heads and rubbed our bellies the whole time and didn't whine about it like daddy does. and they brushed us and walked us and we want to go live with them now.

gotta run; its time for me and lindy to wrestle. i've been watching the wwf and i'm gonna try the cross face chickenwing move on her. she's going down.

love,

daisy.

momma says . . .

. . . that i'm the good dog and lindy is the mentally challenged one. daddy's teaching lindy how to say "tard", but i'm pretty sure that's politically incorrect. she is though. she must have been the last born of my octuplets and all the others got the smarts.

me and daddy and cheese watched the vma video awards the other night. i have so have 'bieber fever' now. lindy is such a 'tard' she wants to know who 'justa beaver' is. baby, baby, baby, ooooh (u so stoopid) is my answer to that. for 3 days she's been walking around saying, "who's justa beaver; who's justa beaver?"

gotta run; momma's making us buffalo chicken wings for dinner. momma is my favorite.

love and bowl haircuts,

miss daisy

cleaning

momma is addicted to vacuuming.

'cheese' and i decided we are going have an intervention for her. maybe they'll put us on that tv show with all the other weird people who need professional help.

momma took us on a 2 mile hike today. if i wanted to exercise, i'd do it on my own. i don't need to be dragged for two miles on a dry, sandy trail on an otherwise beautiful sunday morning. i like being rubinesque anyway. there's more of me to hug.

naps away,

daisy.

un-armed mouse murdered in rancho

an un-armed mouse minding his own business in a wooded area of rancho santa margarita was run down and mutilated late thursday evening by a naked, dirty white male suspect.

be on the lookout for this cat. if you see this cat, he is known to be very dangerous and prone to loud outbursts. take cover and report the sighting to 1-888-24-DAISY.

tickle fight

lindy and i had a tickle fight in the front yard today. i won.


momma and me tried my new recipe for dinner tonight -- daisy's cheesy chickenlicious rollups. they were ok, but a lot of the cheese leaked out, so we're gonna try again on saturday.

that's the finished product there in the picture. me and momma are gonna figure out a way to make the chicken seal-proof. maybe we should batter it up, fry it, put it on a stick and rename it. it didn't suck though; 'stinky-cheese' (lindy) and me split one for dinner.

i gotta go. lindy is watching jersey shore and i need some me-time on the porch.

love to all my human friends and thank you suzanne for the cook book suggestion. i'm gonna be the only famous dog-chef EVER!

p.s. i washed my paws before i cooked.