party time is over

momma and daddy were gone last week and we had so much fun! the 'parental units' think we pine for them when they're gone, but really, not so much.

we have parties and our neighborhood friends come over. we get to sleep as much as we want without them bugging us to entertain them. we can drag as much of the back yard into the house as we want and momma doesn't follow us around with a mop (crazy ocd bitch). and best of all - we get to get away with anything when there's a sitter. they're usually pretty clueless and this one was new and naive.

"yes, we get to rub our butts on the furniture"

"yes we always have steaks or pizza for dinner with oreos for dessert"

"yes, we can jump up and down on the bed"

"yes, momma takes us for 17 walks a day"

"no, we never take baths"

hahahahahaha; new sitters are always so trusting. and cuda especially is not to be trusted (craziness and i are angels).

but all good things have to come to an end - momma and daddy came home. we're already planning our next party. i just wish i could read the calendar thingie so i'll know when they're leaving next.

on the political front, the election is less than a week away and i'm sure the white-haired man can win! he's obviously older and wiser than that guy with the funny name whose initials stand for 'body odor' (hmmm; i like body odor, maybe i should change sides).

lindy (craziness) who is young and stupid (but will probably still be stupid even when she's older) is waiting until election day to vote - she thinks that's more exciting. and she's still voting for b.o. because he reminds her of bob the labrador that lives up the street. they're dating now (bob only dates blondes). he's teaching her all about sex (which she has tried to have with me many times).

and i'm retracting my statement that cuda is stupid (lindy has cornered the market on stupid this week). but cuda is still voting for hillary (so, you decide - is cuda a moron or not?).

newman is still my best friend (his butt smells nice). and uncle leo is still the loudest cat in the cul-de-sac. he thinks he's billy idol or something.

gotta run; its lunch time and lindy's making chicken wings.

hugs and love,

daisy