uncle leo is a serial killer (see picture at left of leo sleeping after a rough night of searching for a critter). his m.o. is that he lays in wait in the back yard (and in various other yards around the neighborhood), finds an unsuspecting lizard, mouse or bird, taunts them relentlessly so that they're in tears and depressed about the direction their life is going, then he drags them back to the house for what we refer to as "kitchen torture". kitchen torture is where leo brings his prey into the kitchen and berates them verbally: "you suck!". "you're a loser lizard!". then as they are sobbing uncontrollably, leo shows his soft side and pretends that he feels sorry for them. he tells them they can leave the kitchen if only they can find their way through the pet door and back outside. at this point, he usually bites off an important body part rendering them incapacitated and leaves them to die. momma is not fond of kitchen torture.
me and lindy have tried to help them escape, but they don't speak 'sgr language' (sgr language is "shaved golden retriever language" -- me and lindy made it up, cause what else are we going to do all day long?) we're learning to speak italian this week cause daddy is taking us to rome to meet the pope.
momma says my butt looks good (see picture below). it does, doesn't it? i've been trying to watch my weight and lindy is trying to help by eating my bowl of food every night. she says its really for the best.
gotta run; our italian lessons are starting.
love and flowers,
daisy
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